Worrying is good

admin — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 17:54:28 +0000

I have a tendency to worry and do worst-case-scenario analyses about everything in my life. If there’s the slightest chance money might be tight next week or the job I am applying for might not work out, my risk-averse brain gets right down to work figuring out what the worst possible outcome could be, then submits it to my worry center to start the worry production line. In short, I have a tendency to worry about the future in excess. I have long resisted worrying, and what I’ve resisted has certainly persisted.But most of us grew up with sayings like “Stop worrying”, “Don’t worry”, “Don’t be a worry-wart”, “Don’t worry, be happy”. No wonder I’ve resisted with all my might the state of worrying. Thanks a lot Bob.

In an enlightening conversation last week, I expressed my frustrations with worrying, and how I not only dislike the feeling of worry, but it also gets in the way of my productivity, and what’s more, I actually get upset that I am worrying. I get upset because I am a well-educated, young, healthy American with a strong family life and no major life problems. I have no right to worry, right? Well, what was enlightening in the conversation was the idea that worry is actually a good thing, and useful, and everybody needs it if we’re going to get anything done. At least, the stuff we’re not super excited about doing. If I wasn’t worried about getting a job that I love, then I probably wouldn’t work so hard to make it happen. If I didn’t worry that I was going to run out of time before I my homework was due, I wouldn’t get started on it in time. In general, if I didn’t worry about getting the things I want, I would never make any strides toward actually making it happen. I certainly believe in the power of decidedly declaring I want something and trusting that I can make it happen and that the universe is going to work with me to get it, but it still ain’t gonna happen if I don’t put my shoes on and go out to do the work. You know the saying – there’s no free lunch. So, I realized, worry is good. It’s natural.

What to watch out for, though, is excessive worry that gets in the way of the motivation and excitement to get out and prove the worries wrong. If I want to buy myself a new car this summer, but I’m worried I won’t have the money for it, that worry is good! It gets me off my caboose and out into the world where I can earn the money in exchange for my hard work. If I let myself slip beyond this healthy fire under the tush, and let it turn into a blaze, I begin to feel resignation rather than motivation. This is where tricks of perspective and inspirational quotes come up short, and it merely becomes a matter of choice. If the world tells me I can’t fly, and I worry that they are right, but I go out and build a flying machine despite them, well I think I’d be pretty proud of myself. But if I listen to them, or worse I tell myself it won’t work and I listen to myself, forget it. Never gonna happen. Now, either I can wait for the world to change its opinion, or I can change mine. Short of that, I better crumple up that piece of paper and write down a safer, easier goal.

An interview I heard quoted from the book “30 Lessons for Living” with an elderly person asked her to reflect on regret. She said she was in a job once and she knew there was a round of lay-offs coming three months out. That three month period, she said, was the biggest regret of her life because of the time she wasted worrying. Of course the worry didn’t have any effect on the outcome, which by the way she did not get laid off, it only served to make her miserable and paralyzed for a period of time in what she looks back on as the most precious years of her life. I’m sure some of that worry was useful because she worked harder to improve her chances of keeping her job, but the rest of it was a total waste of what could have been joyful time spent. Sure, bad things might happen and chances are they will, but worrying beyond a small productive amount is a waste of this short, wonderful life.

I say let there be worry, embrace it, appreciate it for letting you know that this thing you worry about is important to you and you’re taking a risk by going after it and caring about it. Use the worry to your advantage, and remember, the cavemen who were worried enough about getting mauled by tigers avoided getting mauled by tigers. The ones who let the worry paralyze them were dessert following the ones who thought the tigers would be fun to ride.

Wealth is the accumulation of things you want, not money.

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 23:08:07 +0000

“Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery.” – Charles Dickens

A quote from a google search on what wealth is:

“Wealth is what you want, not money.” -http://paulgraham.com/wealth.html

I would say wealth is the accumulation of things you want to the extent that you no longer need to search for more to be satisfied, whatever those things may be.

Creating wealth is a form of trading up. You may have heard of the website “One Red Paperclip”, and the Canadian blogger Kyle MacDonald who traded his way from one red paper clip up to a house through a series of direct trades involving no exchange of money. Kyle took an asset that had some value to him, and found someone to whom it held more value, then made an exchange based on the same principal in reverse for something his counterpart owned. In the exchange, odd as it may sound, both parties became more wealthy. Both had more of what they wanted after they traded.

Any way it’s cut, I have found there are only two ways to define wealth: by comparing what you have to what you want, and by comparing what you have to what others have. The danger in comparing what you have to what others have is that you may perceive yourself wealthy while your compatriots do not, and if this is your measure of wealth then you are indeed quite poor. Say you owned a big bag of tulip bulbs in February 1637 – according to your neighbors you were quite wealthy. But, consider that same bag of tulips in May 1637, just three months later. If you were one of the multitude who invested your life savings in the tulip bubble, you were now poor. Very poor. The physical condition of you and your belongings had not changed at all – just the measure by which you determined your own wealth.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulip_mania

Finally, go back to the other measure of wealth: that which you have relative to what you want. Say a man has ample supply of that which he loves, whether others value it or not, he is a wealthy man by his own measure. Surely those around him would not consider him equally wealthy by their own measures, but for the man what’s the difference? As for me, I no savings left from my last startup company, a big debt in student loans, and pretty simple belongings. Certainly not wealthy by measures of money. But I also have a wife I love, friends all over the world, skills and knowledge I’ve accumulated over 28 years, and many opportunities out in front of me to live a fun life. By my own measure, I consider myself an extremely wealthy man.

I heard a quote the other day that made me think about this idea of wealth, which I think is appropriate to end this article with:

“Some people are so poor that all they have is money.”

Reach Beyond Grasp

Worrying is good

Wealth is the accumulation of things you want, not money.